marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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