I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
as a side note pls kill me
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
