Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
