i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
