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• (512): View more from Texas

  the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.

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• (585): View more from New York

  She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.

  (585): View more from New York

  Aren't divorce parties fun?

  (1-585): View more from New York

  You and I have very different definitions of fun.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  pop tarts are not kleenex

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho

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• (585): View more from New York

  Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory

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• (310): View more from California

  Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.

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