2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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