If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
