you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
