After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
