After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
