i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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