are you so shy because you have an std?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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