you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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