sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
