The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
the day after is always just damage control
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
