I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
