I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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