ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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