If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
