My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
