I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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