So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
