Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
