just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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