I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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