woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We have started to decorate penises.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
