it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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