just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
