i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
