I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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