I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
