I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
