you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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