Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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