what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
