I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
thus making me awesome and them whores
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
