I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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