Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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