Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
