I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
