ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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