We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I cut my penus on the lid.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
