Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
