Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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