Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
