Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
