Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
