My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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