I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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