He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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